Temperament Characteristics: Activity Level

A child’s temperament describes the way that she approaches and reacts to the world. It is her personal "style." Temperament influences a child’s behavior and the way she interacts with others.

When we understand our child’s temperament, we can begin to anticipate what situations may be easy or more difficult for her. We can nurture her strengths and help her learn to cope with challenges. And we can change how we parent based on our child’s temperament—for example, some children just need “the look” to stop an off-limits behavior, while other children may need more help from us to shift to another, more appropriate activity. Understanding temperament is one important way of nurturing a strong parent-child bond.

We are going to be running a series on Temperament. The first in the series is the Active child!!! Enjoy !!



Some children are not action-oriented—they tend to be "sitters." They are happy to sit and play quietly. They prefer to:

• take the world in by looking or listening; and
  
  
• prefer exploring with their hands (using their fine motor skills) instead of their large muscles (arms and legs).
  

They can often focus their attention for long periods, working on a problem such as how to get the puzzle piece to fit or how to make the clown pop up. Their interest in the things around them can be every bit as intense as an active baby, but they don’t feel the same need to be up and about.

Other children are movers and shakers. Even as babies, they are quick to roll over, squirm, and crawl. They like to reach out, grab, and bat at the dangling toys hanging from their mobile. They often develop into toddlers who are always on the go, exploring the world around them by crawling, running, and climbing. These movers and shakers:

• love spaces that offer lots of opportunity for movement;
  
  
• often need a lot of supervision;
  
  
• are likely to keep moving until they drop; and
  
  
• tend to reach out for and touch anything they can get their hands on.

Their activity level doesn't mean there is a problem; it’s just how they prefer to interact, explore, and learn. Their parents may be exhausted, but they definitely stay in shape!

Most kids fall somewhere in the middle. They enjoy running, climbing, and jumping, but they are also happy sitting with a puzzle or a book. They move easily from a quiet activity to a more active one.

Parenting Strategies for a Less Active Child

• Respect his pace and style. Offer your child lots of opportunities to play with the things that he enjoys—for example, books, dress-up clothes, puzzles, building blocks, toy figures, etc. (And remember, you still need to baby-proof the house, even if he is not moving around a lot!)
  
  
• Add movement to things she already enjoys. Entice your child to move by holding a favorite toy a little beyond her easy reach or by starting to play with an interesting toy a little beyond where she can easily move.
  
  
• Let your child look before he leaps. If your child prefers watching kids on the climbing gym, let him watch. Then suggest trying something together—like going down the slide on your lap. But always remember to follow your child’s lead, and take it slowly.
  
  
• Play hide-and-seek. When one of you is “found,” entice your child into a chasing game.
  
  
• Listen to music together. It’s easy to shift from listening to dancing if the music moves you!
  
  
• Remember, there’s nothing wrong with being a “sitter.” As long as your child gets the exercise he needs and can enjoy a range of activities, then he can be happy and healthy.
  

Parenting Strategies for an Active Child

• Offer lots of opportunities for safe, active exploration. Baby-proof your entire home. (Of course, you need to baby-proof no matter your child’s activity level!) Create obstacle courses with pillows on the floor. Play hide-and-seek, freeze tag, and other active games.
  
  
• Don’t expect your child to lie or sit still for long. Let her stand for a diaper change, give her permission to leave the high chair as soon as she is done eating, and allow her to turn the pages or act out the story when you read a book.
  
  
• Engage your child’s help with everyday activities. Ask him to carry spoons to the table, help pick up leaves, and put all of the clean socks in a pile.
  
  
• Recognize that your child will need extra time to wind down. Start limiting active play at least an hour before bedtime and perhaps 30 minutes before naptime to help her slow down.
  
  
• Remember, active children aren’t wild or out of control. They just need to move.

Potty Training Resistance

While most children show signs of physical readiness to begin using the toilet as toddlers, usually between 18 months and 3 years of age, not all children have the intellectual and/or psychological readiness to be potty trained at this age. Signs of physical readiness can include your being able to tell when your child is about to urinate or have a bowel movement by his facial expressions, posture or by what he says, staying dry for at least 2 hours at a time, and having regular bowel movements. Signs of intellectual and psychological readiness include being able to follow simple instructions and being cooperative, being uncomfortable with dirty diapers and wanting them to be changed, recognizing when he has a full bladder or needs to have a bowel movement, being able to tell you when he needs to urinate or have a bowel movement, asking to use the potty chair, or asking to wear regular underwear. Things to avoid when toilet training your child, and help prevent resistance, are beginning during a stressful time or period of change in the family (moving, new baby, etc.), pushing your child too fast, and punishing mistakes (treat accidents and mistakes lightly). Be sure to go at your child's pace and show strong encouragement and praise when he is successful. Even after he begins to use the potty, it is normal to have accidents and for him to regress or relapse at times and refuse to use the potty. The process of being fully potty trained, with your child recognizing when he has to go to the potty, physically goes to the bathroom and pulls down his pants, urinates or has a bowel movement in the potty, and dresses himself, can take time, often up to three to six months for most children. Having accidents or occasionally refusing to use the potty is normal and not considered resistance. While it is recommended that you don't insist that he sits on the potty and you should be prepared to delay training if he shows resistance, at some point if his resistance to using the potty persists, especially after he is 3 -3 1/2 years old, then you should consider him resistant to potty training and you will need to change your methods. Early on in the training, especially if your child is less than 3 - 3 1/2 years old, resistance should be treated by just discontinuing training for a few weeks or a month and then trying again. At this age (18 months to 3 years), resistance is usually because your child just isn't ready to begin training. Potty training resistance usually occurs because your child has had a bad experience at some point during potty training, especially if he was started before he was intellectually or psycholgoically ready. Other times, especially with strong willed or stubborn children, it may have nothing to do with your technique or timing, and you may have done nothing wrong. Reasons for developing a resistance to potty training can include: being scared to sit on the potty chair flushing the toilet may have scared him from wanting to sit on the toilet being pushed too early or fast before he was ready severe punishment for not using the potty or being forced to sit on the potty inconsistant training, especially among different caregivers he may have had a painful bowel movement from being constipated. If this is the case, treat his constipation and wait until he is having regular, soft bowel movements before you begin training again. or he may just be stubborn and is involved in a power struggle with his parents and is using his control over where he has a bowel movement he may enjoy the negative attention he gets from not using the potty or from having accidents although rare, there are medical conditions that can make it difficult for your child to hold in or delay urinating or having a bowel movement. Discuss with your Pediatrician if there are any medical reasons why you may be having a hard time teaching your child to use potty, especially if he seems to have other delays in his development. At this point, if your child is totally resistant to being potty trained, then it is best to just make him responsible for when he wants to use the toilet. This includes not punishing him for mistakes and not reminding him to use the potty. If he seems fearful, you can try and discuss calmly what it is about using the potty that scares him. While you may get a lot of negative feedback from friends or family members about not being more aggressive with getting your child potty trained, you should be firm and let them know that you are working on it and remind them that not all children potty train at the same time. In addition, it can be helpful if you: establish a reward or incentive for using the potty. This should include lots of praise and attention when he uses the potty. It can also include a star or reward chart on which you child can place stickers whenever he uses the potty. After a certain number of days that he has stickers, then he can get a reward, such as toy, etc. have your child be involved in changing himself when he wets or soils himself. This can include getting a new diaper, taking the dirty diaper off, cleaning himself (although he will probably need help after bowel movements), and throwing the dirty diaper away. At some point you can change him into regular underware. You can talk about it beforehand and maybe have a ceremony where he throws away the left over diapers or you may just decide not to buy any new ones. Now, when he does wet or soil himself, you can have him help to clean out his underware in the sink or bathtub. You may even have him put them in the washing machine and wait with you while they are getting washed and dried. He should then dress himself. This method is not for everyone, but is usually very effective. You can also have him clean up after himself if he wet or soiled the floor. Limit him to having BMs in the bathroom. This isn't always possible, but is easy if he always asks for a diaper just to have a bowel movement. Next, have him sit on the potty to have a bowel movement, even if he continues to wear his diaper. Then work on getting his diaper off by opening it and eventually taking it off. During this process, you should give lots of praise and rewards during each step. If he is having a hard time learning to use the potty, but isn't necessarily resistant to the idea, then developing a regular daily routine of sitting on the potty for five or ten minutes every few hours may be helpful. Most importantly, avoid physical punishment for not using the potty, even in an older child. It can be appropriate to verbally let him know that you disapprove of his not using the potty, but this should not get to the point of yelling, shaming or nagging.